Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
