he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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