I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
