driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
