my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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