dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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