Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
