I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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