ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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