stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
