when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
