She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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