Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
