Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
