Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
