what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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