redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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