Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
