you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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