Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
