i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
