i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
