oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
