Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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