THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
