Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
