can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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