you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
