I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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