thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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