I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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