and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
