Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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