i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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