your thong is hanging out like whoa
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
