lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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