I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
