I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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