i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
