3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
COCAINE IS GR8
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
