Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
