love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
