Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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