i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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