There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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