I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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