just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
