Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
