wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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