sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
