its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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