Your dad touched me again.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
