Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
