He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
