I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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