the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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