I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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