I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize