nut hugger
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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