I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
