If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
