officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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