so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
