Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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