We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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