Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
