It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
