is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
