It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
